Kanye West - I Don't Like (ft. Big Sean, Chief Keef, Jadakiss & Pusha T)

Everyday phrases that have been ruined

Girl, you talk to much. Shut up. - Big Sean - Dance (A$$)

--

I'm the beeeeest - unknown origins

--

"Greeze and truss" the turkey

--


Bonus lolz, not a ruined phrase:

Drake recently got his high school diploma.
Rando Dan: How old is Drake?
Rando Man: Hold on... 25 sittin' on 25 mil, ohh that's how you feel? That's really how you feel? ... *checks Wikipedia* Yep. 25.

(Drake - The Motto)

CONGRATS DRIZZY =D

BALLS!

Rando Man watching some TV show introducing some restaurants in the city. The show hosts sit down with the chef or owner of the restaurant and they show different dishes they have.
Boss man: Here we have some cheese bread.
Trolling host: They look like balls.
Rando Man: REALLY, LADY? You just said that?

Rando Man changes the channel to BROSKI'S COOKING SHOW (In the Kitchen with Stefano Faita) where he's making shortbread cookies and...
Stefano Faita: you want to shape them into balls
Rando Dan: HE KNOWS! He just knows!

Rando Man push up log - week 2

Forgot that week 1 was finished and did column 2, day 3 again.
http://hundredpushups.com/week1.html
Max: 9


http://hundredpushups.com/week2.html - column 2

Day 1 max:

Day 2 max:

Day 3 max:

Rando Man push up log - week 1 (again!)

http://hundredpushups.com/week1.html - column 2

Day 1 max: 6

Day 2 max: 8

Day 3 max: 10

Rando Man push up log - initial test

Starting over again...

Initial test: 6

INDIRECT TROLL

Facebook friend posts picture of a giant cookie "shaped like the titanic"
Rando Dan: Heyyy that kinda looks like a Pokemon. *Googles krabby*
Rando Man: OH MAN IT DOES! IT'S TOO GOOD. *posts URL in comment*
Rando Dan: *reaches over and hits enter*
Rando Man: WHY DID WE DO THAT?! I'm gonna get unfriended or so something!

Things to do: learn poker chip shuffling

*watching World Poker Tour*
The guy is sitting there shuffling his poker chips...
Rando Man: LEARNING THAT.

Rando Man push up log - week 4

http://hundredpushups.com/week2.html  column 2

Day 1 max: 11

Day 2 attempt
Could not do the first 10 push ups. Did 8, then 12, then gave up. I think I might have to go back to week 1.

Rando Man push up log - week 3

Back from hiatus.

Exhaustion test: 8

Rando Man: I'm going to shower *SCV pose*
Rando Dan: Waaaait. Do push ups first.
Rando Man: ... Fine.

http://hundredpushups.com/week1.html  column 2

Day 1 max: 7

Day 2 max: 10

Day 3 max: 10

Rando Running Log - week 1

http://running.about.com/od/getstartedwithrunning/ht/getstarted.htm
Walk 6 minutes, jog 1 minute, 3 times

Rando Man: Get clearance from your doctor?
Rando Dan: SIKE.

Day 1 - Saturday March 24
Rando Man broke a nail and got a cut on the other hand. WHAT A JOKE.

Day 2 -

Day 3 -

The weather decided to be a joke and start snowing again. The randos have put this aside until the weather decides to cooperate.

Rando Man and Rando Dan go running

Earlier, Rando Man was scared shitless motivated by an episode of Flashpoint to start running [post linked here].

Goal: run 30 minutes by the end of 8 weeks
Program from About.com
Three days a week: Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday
Start: Saturday March 24
End: Saturday May 19


Motivation: "Stay fit because you never know", Flashpoint, and osteoporosis prevention


EDIT
The weather: SIKE! It's not warm enough anymore!
-postponed until further notice-

Borrowerz

Rando Man's "frandz" ask to borrow a CD.
Rando Man: Hey, Rando Dan. Do we have [this CD]?
Rando Dan: Wait, who wants it? Creeper?
Rando Man: Yeah.
Rando Dan: It's going to someone of a higher priority.
Rando Man: When will we get it back?
Rando Dan: I don't know. It could be weeks! It could be a day!
Rando Man: Ok, I'll tell them someone else has it.

The "frandz" ask to borrow Rando Man's ID.
Rando Dan: What are these kids? Borrowerz4LyfE? You should ask them to borrow something right now. Like a comb, because my brother has to comb his long, beautiful hair and his comb broke even though it says it's "unbreakable".
Rando Man: Because you know broski's trying to comb out his dreadlocks. You know how broski is.
Rando Dan: Did you answer them yet?
Rando Man: I'm doing that now.
Rando Dan: "R U STOOPZ?"
Rando Man: LOL should I write that? Will they get it?
Rando Dan: No, they won't... "R U LINSANE?"

Rando Man: Ok, I told them no.
Rando Dan: What'd they say?
Rando Man: "It's ok, thanks anyway"
Rando Dan: "UR A JOKE!"

Rando Man's Why My Day Was Awesome #7

Buff rando: *poses in a seated position*
Ulysses: Alms for a child of misfortune.
Buff rando: *coleslaw*

Rando Man's Why My Day Was Awesome #6

Click here. Hit play. Scroll down. 

Hungry African children

Overheard on the subway...
Rando: Look at these people scrambling for a seat. They're like hungry African children going after some bread.

Rando Man push up log - hiatus

Exams until Thursday. BRB.

Will do exhaustion test again and go from there.

(Wooooaahhhh sometimes, I take a hiatus)

Rando Man's Why My Day Was Awesome #5

Rando Man: I'm making pool ball cupcakes!
Rando Dan: Poo balls?
Rando Man: Haha, yes. Poo balls.

*burns a batch of cupcakes*
Called those ones poo balls.

Rando Man's Why My Day Was Awesome #4

Wooooaahhhh sometimes, I eat a few raisins. Yea.

Wooooaahhhh sometimes, I run into electric fences. Yea.

I get a feeling that I never never knew, never had before. No, no. 

It's not a good feeling. Yea.

Rando Man's Why My Day Was Awesome #3

Free cookies! Happy 100th birthday Oreo! (March 6, 1912)

Rando Dan's Why My Day Was Awesome #3

Playing catch at the age of 17 like a bauss.
Tossing an LED poi ball across the living room with RandoMan.
Working on eye hand coordination hoping to do rando team juggling in the future.

Rando Man's Why My Day Was Awesome #2

Rando Dan told Rando Man a story about when they were kids.

Little Rando Dan would purposely tie knots in a string attached to a compass and ask Little Rando Man to untie it. After Rando Man untied it successfully, Rando Dan would purposely tie more knots. Rando Man thought it was getting tangled up on its own and was trying to be helpful.

Rando Dan's Why My Day Was Awesome #2

mfw watching Starcraft 2 song parodies:

Rando Man's Why My Day Was Awesome #1

Peanut butter and strawberry jam on white bread. 'nuff said.

Rando Dan's Why My Day Was Awesome #1

The Sims 4 Unofficial Trailer

LOOKS SO REAL...

Rando Man push up log - week 2

http://hundredpushups.com/week2.html column 1

Day 1 max: 9

Day 2 max: 8

Day 3 max: 8

Exhaustion test: 11

*rumbling noises*
Rando Dan: Is that your tummy?
Rando Man: Yes. *laughing while holding plank* *ekes out 2 more push-ups and gets one-upped by Rando Dan*

Pretty Lame

RandoMan does something rando in Starcraft 2.

RandoDan: wow that's pretty lame. wow.

RandoMan: LAME IS "A physical disability is any impairment which limits the physical function of one or more limbs or fine or gross motor ability. Other physical disabilities include impairments which limit other facets of daily living, such as respiratory disorders and epilepsy."

RandoDan: Wow that's pretty lame.

A few days later, RandoDan is doing biology homework.

"Cows that are given bGH injections are more prone to health problems like lameness. . ."

RandoDan: ...wow..that's pretty lame...LOLOLOLOL

Rando Man push up log - week 1

http://hundredpushups.com/week1.html column 1

Day 1 max: 7

Rando Dan: 5... You got this, do one more. 6 is a nice number. 6... Nobody likes 6! Do one more! 7... Ok you're good.

Day 2 max: 7

Day 3 max: 8

Rando Man promises to go running

Watching Flashpoint where this girl is running from her abductor in the woods.
This reminds Rando Man of an old commercial.

Rando Man: Stay fit because you never know! Rando Dan, we're going running in the spring!

This song is going on Rando Man's playlist while running from imaginary abductors as motivation. (Lungo filaccio - Roberto Cardinali)

Forgetfulness

RandoDan sitting on the couch doing a sudoku puzzle
RandoDan: Gotta sit here and finish these sudoku puzzles... gotta prevent... what's that disease called? the one where you don't remember things...
RandoMan: Alzheimer's?
RandoDan: ...yeah, that's the one
-5 seconds later-
LOLOLOL
RandoMan: That was a derp
RandoDan: Herp. Here's our next blog post
-No one posts it-

A day after

RandoMan: Got any rando encounters today?
RandoDan: Nope.
RandoMan: What was our last rando encounter?
RandoDan: uhh...WAIT...THERE WAS DR. OZ...BROSKI WASN'T ON... IT WAS BEFORE DRAWING ON THE PIZZA BOX....WHAT WAS IT???
RandoMan: I remember what it was, it's pretty funny right now
RandoDan: What was it?
RandoMan: You were doing sudoku and-
RandoDan: OHHH...
LOLOLOLOLOL

Rando Dan Discovery #1

Rando Dan is trying to learn a song on the piano. Rando Man points out that it's just moving up in octaves.
Rando Dan: It all makes sense now! There are patterns in music!

StarJeweled + Flashpoint = ???

Playing StarJeweled with RandoMan

RandoMan: "I've got the solution"
-Energy is over 500-
RandoDan: Scorpio
RandoMan clicks R, summons Colossus

-10 seconds without a match-
...no joy

INB4: Pizza Pockets and Stefano Faita

Rando Dan and Rando Man made Pizza Pockets. The box claims there are "no unpronounceable ingredients!"

Rando Man challenges Rando Dan to read them.
Rando Dan: water, pepperoni... sea salt... smoke flavour?
Rando Man: LIQUID SMOKE
Rando Dan turns on the TV. In the Kitchen with Stefano Faita is on and he's making a pulled pork sandwich with liquid smoke.
Rando Dan: WHAAAAAT?!
INB4


Next, Stefano Faita makes a muffuletta sandwich. He takes a large loaf of bread, cuts it in half, removes the delicious fluffy inside part, and promptly gathers it together...
Rando Dan and Rando Man: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT?!
...and discards it.
Stefano Faita: It's out of this world.

INB4: Rachael Ray

Rando Dan and Rando Man watching Rachael Ray
Rachael Ray is making "pig skins" instead of potato skins = potatoes wrapped in bacon
Rando Dan and Rando Man thought she was going to use actual pig skins, like the barbecue pigs hanging in the windows of Chinatown
Rachael Ray announces she will make egg rolls after the commercial break
Rando Man: What's next? Wontons?
Rando Dan: Nah. Mantous.
Rachael Ray's egg rolls were made with wonton wrappers.
INB4